


I mean it this time!

by tattooeddevil



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 11:24:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tattooeddevil/pseuds/tattooeddevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results." It takes Shannon a few years to get that though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I mean it this time!

**_1976_ **

It wasn’t the first time Shannon had told his baby brother ‘no’, but this time he really meant it. Like, he really, totally, completely meant it. **No**.

“You can **not** keep a worm as a pet!”

Jared held out the slimy, wriggly worm on his hand to Shannon with a pout. “But I love it! Look, Wormy is cute.”

Shannon rolled his eyes at the name. Of course Jared would name his slimy, icky would-be pet. “Wormy? Ugh, Jared, it’s dirty! No!”

And then Jared broke out the puppy-dog eyes. Shannon rolled his eyes again, because really, he stopped falling for that ages ago, and pushed his little brother’s outstretched hand away.

“No. Mom’s just gonna make you take it out anyway.”

At the mention of their mother, Jared deflated and just stared at the worm in his hand with more sadness than he had ever shown. Shannon felt maybe a little bit guilty, he didn’t want his baby brother to be so sad, but yuck, that worm was really disgusting. And their mom really would make Jared bring it back outside and let it go.

“Okay.”

Jared’s voice was small, but Shannon could see he was already thinking of ways to keep Wormy anyway. And he was gonna ask Shannon to keep the secret from their mom for him. Shannon didn’t feel like that at all, he hated lying to their mom and she always saw right through him, so he quickly came up with something to distract Jared from losing his would-have-been pet worm.

“How about we get one of mom’s fridge boxes and put him in there?”

Jared lit up like a christmas tree at the idea and immediately ran out of the room and down to the kitchen with an excited squee. Shannon followed at a more sedate pace, big brothers don’t squee thank you very much, and found Jared bouncing by the cabinet their mom kept her boxes for the fridge in.

Shannon rolled his eyes again at the childish display, before pushing Jared to the side. “Move, shrimp, you’re blocking the door.”

Jared scowled at him with an indignant “Hey!”, but Shannon ignored him in favor of ducking into the cabinet and picking his mom’s smallest plastic box. He held it out to Jared and told him to put the worm in it. “Just don’t close the lid too much or he won’t get any air. And keep it away from mom!”

Despite Jared nodding enthusiastically, Shannon knew he wasn’t listening to a word Shannon was saying. Sure enough, not two days later, Jared crawled into his bed very early in the morning, big tears dribbling down his cheeks and a thumb in his mouth. Shannon merely scooted over to make room for Jared and flipped his sheet open.

“Just lay still, okay? I’m not done sleeping yet.”

Jared burrowed into Shannon’s side and for a second Shannon thought he might actually be able to fall asleep again, but then the quiet sniffles began. He sighed deeply, but put an arm around his little brother anyway. “It’s okay Jared, it wasn’t your fault. Worms just aren’t indoor pets.”

Jared nodded, his face smushed in Shannon’s neck, but he didn’t stop sniffling. After what seemed like ages, Jared finally wiped his nose with his sleeve and lifted his head to look at Shannon with big, wet eyes. “Can we get a dog instead?”

 

**_1982_ **

“But Shan- **non**!”

“But Ja- **red**!” Shannon had by now mastered mimicking his little brother’s whine of his name and gave as good as he got. Jared would always scowl in return, but he’d stop pushing whatever thing he tried to get Shannon to do or give in to, so Shannon counted it as a win.

Just to be really, really clear, he repeated the dismissal of Jared’s choice of clothing for the day. “You can’t wear your Batman cape to school, the other boys will make fun of you.”

Jared flung himself on his bed dramatically. “But I love it! I don’t care what the other boys say.”

Shannon rolled his eyes. “Yes you do. And you always come crying to me when they bully you. Just pick something else, okay? Something that’s not a costume.”

He turned to head for the bathroom to get ready for school himself, but he didn’t miss Jared’s last muttered words.

“One day I’ll be cool and everyone will wear Batman capes to school.”

He could only shake his head. Silly Jared.

 

**_1987_ **

When Shannon’s eyes landed on the bottles on the counter in the bathroom, he nearly choked on his tongue. “Jared, no! Seriously. **No**!”

Jared crossed his arms in front of him defiantly. “Why not? It’s cool, I love it.”

An incredulous chuckle slipped from Shannon’s lips. “Well, for one, mom will kill you. And for two, you can’t dye your hair green and blue, it’ll look ridiculous. Have you learned nothing from the bullies at school?”

Jared huffed in disagreement, but he uncrossed his arms and glanced at the bottles. “Bullies are stupid.”

Shannon barked a laugh at that. “Yes they are, but they always manage to get to you anyway. And then you come running to me, crying on my shoulder.”

“Shut up, I don’t come crying to you!”

Shannon laughed even harder, pissing Jared off even more. Jared stomped off in a huff, but Shannon couldn’t care. He had successfully stopped Jared from dyeing his hair.

Score for Shannon.

 

**_1992_ **

“No! No, you can’t go to LA, you’ll never make it as an actor!”

Jared balled his hands into fists and glared at Shannon. “Jesus Shan, tell me how you really feel.”

Shannon deflated, he hadn’t wanted those words to spill out the way they did, but they had and now he couldn’t take it back. But there was no way he could confess to the truth either. Better to let Jared think he was jealous or just angry, instead of scared. Scared to lose his little brother, scared of being alone, scared for Jared’s health and safety.

“I don’t care what you think, Shan. I love acting. I love it, and I **will** make it happen!”

So he let Jared stomp out of the apartment without another word. He let Jared ride off in his beat up truck without another glance back. He let Jared go to LA to become the best fucking actor they had ever seen, without Shannon.

 

**_1997_ **

“No, Jared, just no!”

“Why the fuck not?”

“You can’t give up your acting career for music! You worked so hard to get it, and now you want to throw it away? No! I won’t let you!”

A snort.

“Oh please, you won’t **let** me? I’m not a kid anymore, Shan! You can’t tell me no anymore!”

“I can, but you won’t listen, you stubborn bastard.”

A chuckle.

“Damn right. Now pack your bags, you’re coming to LA.”

A hesitation.

“What?”

“Yeah, you think I want to start a band and make it big without you? It was always the plan to do it together, remember?”

“Are you sure?”

An impatient huff.

“The **plan** , Shan, keep the fuck up! Besides, I have always loved music more than acting, you know that. I just got an acting job first. **Yes** Shan, I am sure. How fast can you get here?”

 

**_2000_ **

The world stopped. His heart stopped. His mind was racing though. Jared just-- He-- Jared-- Huh.

What. The. Hell. Just. Happened?

Jared was looking at him expectantly, excitement clear on his face, but Shannon wrote it off as insanity. Because clearly Jared was insane.

And under the chaos of his thoughts, there was one thing very, extremely, without a doubt, abundantly clear. Ish.

“I am your brother, you can’t fuck me!”

Jared merely shrugged, seemingly unbothered.

“Why not? I love you, you love me. We’re both sick of the hassle of finding someone, but we also want sex on a regular basis. You’re attractive, I’m attractive, and it’s not like we can get pregnant and produce messed up babies.”

Too logical.

And a little too close to his own occasional reasoning when he allowed himself to ogle Jared’s ass. If by occasional you mean daily and by ogle you mean mentally undress, spank and bite.

No! It’s his brother, it is wrong, it is incest. It is definitely **not** hot, no sir. Jared is his brother, same blood and DNA, he knows what Jared’s boogers look like for god’s sake.

“You kissed me!”

Jared rolled his eyes and chuckled. “I thought we were past that already. Yes, I kissed you. Yes, I shoved my hand down your pants. Yes, Shan, I want to fuck you. Or you fuck me, whatever floats your boat.”

Shannon gaped at Jared. “Floats my boat? Really? How can you be so nonchalant about this? Why am I the only one freaking out here?”

Jared shrugged, but the excited glint in his eyes turned serious and he sat back, out of Shannon’s personal space a little. Shannon couldn’t help his hand from shooting out and grabbing Jared’s jeans, before he realized what he was doing.

Jared went back to chuckling. “Yeah, like you didn’t like me kissing you.”

Before he could compute what happened, Shannon was on his back on the couch, with Jared on top of him, kissing the breath from his lungs. Shannon thought about protesting again, but who was he kidding? Jared knew he was lying when he said he didn’t want it too, and really, how long could he lie to himself.

So he did the only thing that was actually logical at this point. He stopped saying “no” and got with the program.


End file.
